Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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