Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize