youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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