I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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