i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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