Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
