i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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