Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
