He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We're too hungover to prance.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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