i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
