my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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