i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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