I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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