I'm going to jail i love you
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wish they made helmets for livers.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
