haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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