he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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