My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Welp...herpes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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