Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
