Pappa wants mamma naked
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
