I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
