I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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