OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
