I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
