It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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