Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
