My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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