my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
