the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
