You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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