I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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