I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
