I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
