So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
