I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize