No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
