So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
