Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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