I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
