My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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