She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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