I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
