if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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