he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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