if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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