take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
