it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
