All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
