I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
