I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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