question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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