you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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