You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
