I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
