Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
