I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
