Got a toothbrush?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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