just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
