we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize