And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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