Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize