My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
